It seems that sex forms some part of almost every Hollywood film. From James Bond sub-plots to 'Romantic comedy's' which more and more place the pinnacle of a relationship at a night of passion rather than any old fashion idea of a 'to death due us part' marriage commitment. In Britain today playboy – a company which turns sex into a hobby – is producing merchandise, with its prominent logo on, aimed at Children [http://www.bbc.co.uk/essex/content/articles/2005/11/23/zeal_playboy_feature.shtml]
What is the Christian view? Does the bible really say sex should only take place in marriage? If so why? Lets have a look at what the God who is there has to say about sex.....
1. Sex is a good gift from God and a sign of the marriage covenant.
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh” Genesis 2v24
“May your fountain be bless and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth” Proverbs 5v18
“Marriage should be honoured by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral” Hebrews 13v4
If you look into the preceding verses of the passage in proverbs above you'll see that the reference to the fountain is a reference to sexual pleasures. In this passages and other passages such as the book 'Song of songs' sex in marriage is celebrated as a gift from God.
The verse in Hebrews warns that God will judge those who dishonour the marriage bed through sexual expression outside marriage.
The verse in Genesis points to the first marriage between Adam and Eve where a husband and wife becomes one flesh. Although this has many meanings one part of this verse points to the intimacy experienced between a husband and wife in sex.
Marriage is a covenant – a promise before God – for a husband and wife to commit themselves to serve each other until death. Sex is only permitted in Gods word as being a part of this marriage covenant. God thinks much more of Sex that today's culture – rather than used casually for 'fun' God protects Sex by commanding it to be shared only within the protection of a marriage commitment.
2. Marriage is a picture of the relationship between God and his people
“I saw the Holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband” Revelation 21v2
“The kingdom of heaven is like a king who prepared a wedding banquet for his son” Matthew 22v2
"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.” Ephesians 5v31-32
Throughout scripture we see a key purpose of marriage is to be a witness to the world of the relationship between God and his people. Jesus Christ is described as a groom (Matthew 9:14-15) and his church, Christians who follow him, are describe as his bride. For example the 'new Jerusalem' in revelation is a picture of Gods people and it is portrayed as a bride prepared for Christ.
In Ephesians 5 the apostle Paul, inspired by the Holy Spirit, moves on from describing marriage to revealing it to be picture of the relationship between Christ and his Church.
3. Sex as part of the marriage covenant points to the intimacy between God and his people through the gospel.
“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
Ephesians 5v22-33
“If you love me, you will obey what I command” John 14v15
“God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5v8
“For the fruit of the Spirit is Love, Joy...” Galatians 5v22
“They consult a wooden idol and are answered by a stick of wood.
A spirit of prostitution leads them astray; they are unfaithful to their God.” Hosea 4v12
This passage in Ephesians describes the different role relationships between a husband and wife in marriage and how this is a reflection of the relationship between God and his church.
Although we've seen above that both sex and physical attraction within marriage are celebrated gifts in the Bible it is not the cornerstone of what a marriage is based on. We see here how the basis of marriage, as is the basis for our relationship with Christ, is unconditional love.
While we were still sinners Christ died for us – we did not deserve his love in any way. As Christians we do not serve God out of fear of hell – we know that through Christ paying for our sins on the cross we are saved from the coming judgment. Rather through the power of his indwelling Holy Spirit we seek to obey his commands out of love for him.
The indwelling Holy Spirit moves us to love God and gives us Joy in the intimate relationship we have with God through the death of Christ. In the same way a sign of the marriage covenant based on a mutual unconditional love for each other, (unconditional – loving even when the other acts unlovingly!), is Gods gift of sex. By protecting sex as a gift just for marriage we have a far greater intimacy in marriage and better reflect the intimate relationship we have with God. In the Bible the God who is there even uses the picture of the adulterous bride as an analogy for his people when they turn away from God to idols. Sex outside of marriage is an empty gift corrupting the image of God and leads to Abortions, Single parent families and people emotionally broken by relationships where sex was never accompanied with a commitment to lifelong unconditional love.
